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The wedding traditions in Sindh are
somewhat similar to the wedding customs of the Arabs. They
are listed below in the order of occurrence.
Announcing the match
This
is done informally or formally. Formal ceremony is held by
giving a silk veil and a diamond or gold ring to the girl by
the bridegroom’s side by going to her house. Sweat meat is
distributed by bride groom’s family. Unlike the West,
Sindhis don’t go for sapphires. Green diamonds may be liked
by some folk. From then onwards, gifts to the girl are sent
on every Eid: A suit of clothing (Shalvar kameez),
matching shoes, vermicelli and sweat meat is among the
things sent.
(In Olden times the girl’s nose used be
pierced (at an earlier age) and an engaged girl used to get
a nose ring. Now this customs remains in the villages only.
Diamond is the stone of choice for the affluent villagers
and plain gold for others. After the match is announced she
always wears it. After marriage this is considered a sign of
being married like a wedding band is in the West. There is
an exception to this rule in Soomro households. Ladies
belonging to the Soomro clan never wear a nose ring,
regardless of marital status).
Fixing the date (Potee)
The elders sit and fix the date, once
it’s fixed; sweat meat is distributed by the groom’s side.
In the villages the mother of the guy
personally goes to everyone’s house to invite them to the
wedding, it can be done by his female relatives also. Since
the cities’ population is far greater and the distances
involved make it impractical, this invitation is usually
sent via a wedding card. The more affluent families send
this invite on an ivory plaque.
(Old times and still in villages: the
girl gets a silk chunni/potee (veil) with gold thread
work in a ceremony and that indicated that the wedding is
fixed).
Vanwah
This is the ceremony preceding that of
a wedding, the bride to be sits in a room for a pre-fixed
period which could be 1,2,3, 7,9, 11 or 15 days. During this
period she is always accompanied by someone, usually a close
female friend or a sister or female cousin. She sits facing
the wall covered by an Ajrak (cotton wrap with block
print; with a ten thousand year old motif). Incidentally,
some non Sindhi communities overseas also make the bride sit
facing away from the ladies present, facing the wall.
Ceremonies of Vanwah:
The bride groom’s side comes
officially to make her sit in Vanwah. (She is seated before
their arrival anyway) They bring clothes, matching shoes,
sugar, hair oil mask and dry fruit basket and a yellow
shalvar suit with matching bangles and Sagee (plait
extensions made of cotton thread). Hair oil mask is usually
omitted nowadays. Girls with short hair too tie it in a
plait sagee. Bride’s plait (braid in American English) is
opened a knot at a time by a married lady, (who used to put
a little oil in her hair as she opened it, but this ceremony
doesn’t take place after Western colonization of Sindh), and
she feeds her (sweetmeat) mithai. In the past, after
seven ladies had done the above knot opening, the bride was
made to wear an embroidered niqab or face veil to
protect her from evil eye throughout the period until
vanah was over, but this is not usually followed
anymore. This face veil is called an akhio in Sindhi.
She reads the Quran and is asked to
pray for other unmarried girls for them to have a good
fortune.
Tradition is that bride doesn’t bathe
during vanah, this tradition is not kept anymore
because most ladies work and have to take care of last
minute preparations etc. (A Muslim person washes five times
a day and uses water in the washroom so this shouldn’t be
cause for alarm!)
The Bridegroom has some change of
routine during the vanah period. There is singing in
groom’s house until mendi or henna ceremony. The
ladies or girls involved in the singing get to eat sweetmeat
and other goodies and air is really festive. The groom is
told to be careful, does not engage in his usual business.
He must not hurt someone’s feelings etc. or it will cause
strife in his married life.
Mendi (Henna)
The bride wears a green suit,
in Sindh it’s a shalvar kameez only, not kurta with
chooridar etc. Her house gets decorated with small
colored lights. The mendi is brought decorated in a
platter and seven happily married ladies from groom’s side
put some on her hand (nowadays it’s just a blot on a tissue
or betel leaf on her hand since she gets ready in a bridal
salon who put henna on her hands and feet, do the make up
and fix jewelry on her so that any head piece doesn’t slip
away). After this anyone can put mendi on her hand. Henna is
applied first time on a girl’s feet since unmarried girls do
not put henna on their feet.
The
groom’s uncles tie a wrist band (ghaano) on his hand
and his sister puts henna on his hand. (Bride also wears a
matching ghaano) If the nikah is to be done on
the night of the mendi then his sister in law make
him eat busri (sweet flat bread, or in our family’s
case its sweet fried vermicelli). Nowadays people just use
mithai, since busri is not commercially
available in places like Karachi. The groom gives money to
his sister in law in return for busri.
Throughout the mendi ceremony a
young male cousin or his brother sits with him to give him
advice. This companion has a special name; he is called an
ahnear or anhyaar. The bride groom is not
supposed to speak during the wedding ceremonies, or it will
cause a draught according to the folklore.
A bowl of henna is brought, his little
finger is dipped in it and he gives money again. The same
henna is used to dip bride’s finger in as well. The food for
mendi day is arranged by the bride’s side.
Some times you get to see the trousseau
(no demand is made like in India, Sindhi tradition is from
the Arabs, its the bride groom who brings jewelry and
clothes and other stuff), it’s kept in a room and a lady
opens it and you look around. Bride groom gets an odd no. of
suits 7, 11, 21. The bride gets gold and diamond sets from
him. Traditionally it was a must to bring at least one
duhri (seven strand 22 karat gold necklace with matching
long earrings), cuff bracelet (baaheen), gold hair
pins, gold anklets (chhayr), although some Sindhi
ladies have reservations about wearing gold chhayr, they
believe its unlucky. Affluent families bring diamond
necklaces and bangles and earrings, Shalvar suits
with gold buttons and other stuff. The bride’s suit for the
wedding is red shalvar kameez embroidered with
gold thread. Since the holy law doesn’t allow men to wear
gold, the bride groom does not wear any. There is not rule
of wearing wedding bands by a married couple for life in
Muslim culture.
Wedding day
Tradition is that Jhanjh (baraat)
comes at dawn and leaves soon after sun rise but in cities
weddings are held at night time.
The bride wears red shalvar kameez and
all the gold and diamond jewelry brought for her by the
groom’s side. In Thar the tradition is to wear a silken
Gajj and Paro (Thari silk blouse and skirt) with
baandhni silk chunni. This also looks stunning.
The ornaments are kept in the jewelry
boxes made out of marble or some fancy wood. In ancient
times, all the heavy jewelry used to get worn regularly in
the house. Ladies used to deck themselves in sets for
different occasions on a daily basis. This is not the case
anymore due to fast paced life which demands simplicity.
The bridegroom wears a shalvar kameez
along with an ajrak on his shoulders. Baloch families had
the tradition to put a silk wrap (chunni) on his but
nowadays they tend to use an ajrak only, while on his head
he usually ties a white muslin turban. (Incidentally the
Indian Muslims living in Karachi do use a wrap, now store
bought for this purpose).
Nikah (Wedding rites
according to the Holy Law)
It takes place on mendi night
or wedding day. The girl gets asked three times if she
agrees to marry so and so, son of so and so. After three
times, she agrees and signs the marriage certificate.
Written marriage certificate is necessary for travel
purposes otherwise any marriage is valid if the bride has
agreed to the nikah. Then the bride groom is asked
the same question and when he agrees, the religious molvi
recites from the Quran and supplicates the Almighty for the
newly wed. Dry dates are distributed to mark the occasion.
Wedding stage usually set up by the
wedding organizers or the club where it is being held, or it
may be set up in one’s garden if it’s large enough.
Khair Jo Bhaghon
Some families do this ceremony, some
don’t. It goes like this: Before he comes and sits on a
cushion, he gets his toe tied with a thread to his little
finger and sister in law puts the thread around his neck. He
gets let off if he agrees to “Khair Jo Bhaghon” (half
of his earnings for his mum and rest for his wife).
Then Laaoun ceremony takes
place in which head of the bride is made to strike gently
three times with the groom’s. This is done by seven married
usually the respected elders. They pray for the couple
during this for them to have a prosperous life and have male
offspring.
Then cotton wool is placed upon her
head and he picks them and vice versa.
Mirror ceremony
A mirror is placed between them and
they see each other for first time as life partners. A plate
of uncooked rice is brought with a dry date in it. She finds
it, keeps it in a tight fist. The groom is supposed to open
it, if he opens it, tradition says he will rule the house
and if not then she will be the boss.
Milk ceremony
Milk containing dry fruit such as
almonds and pistachios is brought for the groom; he drinks
it and pays money for it to the bride’s side. Then she is
made to drink from the same glass. Remaining milk is drunk
by bride and groom wannabes.
Rice ceremony
Dry rice is placed in a fancy
platter and they put it in each other’s hands and there is
much singing by his family’s ladies. After this, a young boy
is made to sit in his lap for good luck.
Shoes hiding ceremony
When the bridegroom gets up, finds
that his boot has been hidden by the bride’s sisters. So he
pays money after a friendly wrangling and gets it back.
Nikhayti (Bride
says farewell to her parents and family)
Palow Pale: His sister
ties the ajrak he is wearing to the chunni the
bride is wearing. They walk like this till they reach the
car which can be a limousine if you are living outside
Pakistan.
Once she reaches the house of her in
laws, the bride takes off the ceremonial thread wrist band.
The couple’s room is decorated with a red theme. The bride
groom keeps a knife and a tasbeeh (rosary beads) with
him on the wedding night for warding off evil spirits and
protection against evil eye.
On 2nd Day after the
wedding, the knot in the ajrak of the bride groom and
the chunni of the kunvaar (bride) is
opened and again the sister of the bride groom gets paid for
carrying out this ceremony.
Valima or a separate wedding reception
common among non Sindhis, is not given in Sindhi families
since the wedding itself is the valima; it’s entirely
paid for by the bridegroom’s side like the Arab tradition
is. (Valima means wedding feast in Arabic paid for by
the bride groom) In the villages in Sindh the cooks are
available to make food for weddings and affluent families
give the entire catering job to the Intercontinental Hotel
staff.
After the wedding, the bride groom
invites colleagues who couldn’t make it to the wedding; he
usually does that by ordering food at work, if they insist
that is.
(There
are special pieces of jewelry worn by the bride now which
are only worn by married ladies in Sindh, one is a spiral
band in her finger and the other being toe rings).
Sataavro (7th
day ceremony)
On the seventh day the bride returns to
her parents’ house for dinner and staying the night. After
this day, other relatives invite the couple for dinner to
their places and this goes on for weeks and sometimes months
depending on the number of relatives!
Uploaded on August 10, 2008 |
